After crying over spilled milk as what Kah Wai has pointed out yesterday, I felt much better after a long sleep. If you didn’t understand why I cried (when I have friends who also failed but they didn’t cry), it’s probably because the last few days prior to the mock exams I really really did study. Especially for Law, I studied. Sighs. And yet I failed. The worst part of this whole thing is I don’t know where I went wrong. If I can study so much and still failed, how am I going to pass the final. Where the hell did I go wrong? That burning question I asked myself constantly yesterday. My parents asked. All I could say was I don’t know.
Friends tell me, “Oh, now you have the motivation to study already.” Guess what. I don’t. After falling so hard, after breaking yourself from falling, it’s so tough to get back up. From where I was last time, up on the hill; I liked it there. Now that, I’m at the bottom of it; it feels like starting all the shit over except this time I don’t have a map at all. I am supposed to hike back up there. And it’s so tiring; you can’t imagine doing it all over again. (Haha, it looks like I’m writing about a break up.)
That is how I felt yesterday, it’s very hard for me. It is. You have no idea, you really don’t.