I used to think love sweeps you off your feet. You completely enveloped in your feelings with it.
Imagine the exhilaration of it, it was 100%, an all or nothing. You’re either in love or you’re not.
I fell so hard in love, and I truly loved with all my heart. But then, I decided to leave. It could have been the easy way out but for me, it was the best for us. I spent months trying to come to terms with it and since then, my definition of love has changed. I never want to fall in love anymore, I want to consciously pick the love I want. It made me more realistic on what I define what love is. For me, love feels like taking a leap with a person, then making the conscious decision every day to choose the person regardless of the outcome.
But, for that to happen? The foundation on what brought and then bind you together, is ever so important. I’m years too late to realize this but this is the most logical thing about love. That strong foundation is the one thing, you’ll keep going back to. Especially when it gets so tough that the only option is to leave, but you don’t. And, so.
I want to love honestly, wholeheartedly and passionately.
I want to build the layers of love that will be the foundation of the relationship.
I want to trust that when I lay it out, there is where I will find you still, by my side always.
I want to know, feel what true love is like ; whichever the definition it may be.
And I will.
I was inspired to write above love after reading an inspirational piece by an acquaintance of mine. She wrote about what love is not and what love is to her. It’s so beautifully written, I saved it for my future reference. You can read it here. It got me thinking what love meant to me and how I thought of love.
The past few months have been a healing process for me — to come to terms with the decision I made and the aftermath of it. It was painful and at times, I felt guilty for the choices I made. But what’s done was done and I’d taken comfort that it’s for the best. Because of that, I never regretted my decision.
So, here I am.