I’m always looking back, thinking if I made the right decisions in the past. It’s not exactly the best thing to do but at times I really can’t help it. I do ponder quite often about the decision I made last year end, because it was an extremely tough call to make. I’ve felt regrets, disappointment and sometimes, anger when I go back to ‘that’ time when it happened, when my life changed.
It could be dramatic to say so, but believe me, if I didn’t make that call, I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. I found it extremely hard to move on because there were just too many memories. Everything I did would somehow remind me of the past. I also realised that I try to push away or rather, I avoid going back to those times. Truth is, that only made it harder to move on.
I recall A and J telling me that I had to come to terms with my situation, in other words, accept that what happened has already happened. There were good memories that I should treasure and the not-so-good ones.. well, just let it go. Move on.
But when they told me that, I really couldn’t see it through their perspective. I was probably clouded and confused about my emotions. Half a year later, today, I realised that the only way to move on was to accept it. And it’s true; I do feel less burdened by the past.